Restrictive Covenants

Shadows of my past creep under my skin,

The anger, impatience and faithlessness,

I suppress the blackness of my heart,

Allowing only light to be showcased from my laughter.

The hatred long-replaced by hippie carefreeness,

I am no longer accustomed to keeping secrets,

My heart a harbour hidden behind eloquence,

No one knows.

No one knows what lies beneath,

A poison seeping in, catalysing madness.

He looks at me as Brendan looks at Lia,

Amazed and afraid,

he treads on broken glass to get to me.

Having finally let go of despairing encumbrances,

I am fighting tooth and nails to stay away,

Away from the constraints of love.

I am no longer broken, yes,

but I do not want to open myself up yet.

I carry the guilt like a gypsy,

Hoping, praying, that unspoken promises would be enough.

I cannot be moulded,

My skin sheds like a snake's,

I am earth but I am not clay.

For both our sakes,

Let the pieces unfold without overwhelming consequences,

I am trying not to run,

But please do not restrain me, do not despair if I do.

Surrealism

His name is familiar to my mind,

Yet strange on my tongue,

His words like deja vu,

Everything I've only ever dreamed about.

Time stands still,

Rushing past with no effect.

Inspiration no longer eludes me,

My soul safe, tied to his

The world disappears as I close my eyes against his.

He looks at me and my heart stops,

My thoughts halt mid-sentence

And I am at peace.

It's still surreal,

this perfection.

He Stood, Regal Against A Blue Light

Every little touch,

Every lust-filled look,

Like feather-tipped clouds,

Brushing across my skin.

I stand unclothed before you,

Watching you watching me.

Every missed call,

Every unread letter,

Lingers in my mind,

Like pyrotechnics wishing for electricity.

I watch you smoke,

Your face beautiful and calm,

You hold my hand and

the world falls away,

into silence.

A connection like nothing before,

A certainty incomprehensible.

You are in my heart,

You always have been,

You were the answer all along,

How could I have missed it?

Running in the Dark, Looking for the Swings

I watched her walk away,

Her dress white and short,

I could see into her mind,

She wanted to run,

To taste the freedom in the wind she created,

To dance to the beat of her feet hitting the gravel.

I watched him chase after her,

A love story unfinished in his mind.

She is alone and better off that way,

He cannot fathom how love could not be enough.

I watched her look back at him,

As he struggles to keep up,

Her soul like fireworks on New Year's Eve,

Saying goodbye to him.

I watched her laugh,

As he struggles to come to terms with her terms.

I watched her finally understand,

And I watched her watching me,

A genuine smile slowly forming on her pouting lips.

The Last Days

Flowers form a ring around my fingers,

fragrant and poisonous,

dangerous beauty on my skin.

I look up to the sky,

a blinding blue,

ridiculous in its lightness.

Love dances around me,

fueling the air with freedom.

A peacock sits regally on my lap,

unnoticed, a myriad of colours.

The last days are here,

descending like angels of destruction,

peace beats still in my heart,

a yearning for silence and slowness, stillness.

The Light Changes When You're In The World

It's been a while since I've written in permanence,

A while since I last understood,

Too long since I last communed with the universe.

But now I know,

Love is never a decision,

Never a choice.

It needs to run free-willed in my veins,

Not a thought or a notion,

Not a relationship or a definition.

Let me catch your dreams,

Allow me to tread your waters.

Time stands still and true,

Ineffective as we kiss,

Hours turn into minutes,

Minutes feel like seconds,

Each moment ephemeral,

I lose myself, my soul in the changing light of the world.

KEROSENE

It burned in silence.

I watched the flames taking over,

beautiful and dangerous.

The voices said their goodbyes

and the night became filled with light.

I watched it burn,

vengeance dictating my heartbeats.

The city is not safe tonight,

I made sure of it.