Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Solitary Refinement

No one can fully comprehend the precision with which isolation has found me, how much I cannot completely be loved as how I need to be loved, how deeply, heart-wrenchingly I wish I am not alone.

Words are empty to me. Moments flickering, ephemeral, never lasting.
A year can pass with constant company and the happiness that follow but one night, one hour, one second apart and I crumble, fallen as if I have never stood before.

Maybe it is a choice as they say, but what if I'm not the one choosing?
What if I am the one chosen?

To carry the everlasting ascribed burden of loneliness.
To only be present in the past and future, never being satisfied with what is now.

Impulses beat within my heart, electrifying my fingertips, setting my skin on constant fire.

I turn to you for asylum.
But who am I to do that?

Monday, September 14, 2009


Love is dancing outside my window,
Freedom inviting me to let go,
To forget and to laugh.

I see you in my imagination,
beautiful and perfect,
you speak of the universe and of the human condition,
you wait for me as I wait for you.

High heels and dreamcatcher pendants,
history sold like secrets on the streets,
gypsies and troubadors,
caravans and acoustic guitars.
This is me in limbo,
growing up with my heart broken yet beating.

I see you in my dreams,
you come to me in an effort to help,
peaceful and perfect,
you save me as I save you.

Love is dancing with me and I believe.
It's not enough but I still believe. courtesy of the Hubble Space Telescope....(the hodge 301 cluster - multiple generations of stars in the tarantula nebula)